One EASY step to take everyday in order to grow in humility. Entire article available at www.dianadivulges.com (an HONEST catholic blog)
Faith

Why I Never Apologize After I Put My Foot in My Mouth

How often do you put your foot in your mouth? If your name is Diana the answer is probably “SO, SO, SO OFTEN.” I’m going to tell you a story about a time I put my foot so far down my throat it got stuck.

One time, about 3 years ago, Marvin and I were on a marriage retreat. There was a precious, holy couple sharing their testimony. They were talking about this resource that they suggested for all married Catholic couples. They said this resource significantly blessed their marriage and they talked (ALOT) about how hard marriage was. They got really raw and it was emotional for them AND for all of the couples in the audience.

At the end of the talk, I walked up to the woman and said, “I mean, what about if marriage is just SO EASY for us? Do we even need this resource since things are just so great and easy in our marriage?”

You could see how hard this sweet, tiny, holy woman was trying NOT to roll her eyes at the annoying, sanctimonious me. She just gave me a small smile and said, “There will be bumps….EVENTUALLY and when you encounter those bumps you’ll know how to handle them thanks to this resource.”

Immediately after the words escaped my mouth, I regretted them. Immediately. This conversation took place 3 years ago and sometimes the whole scenario plays in my head like a movie. I imagine how hard it must’ve been for her to stand up in front of all of those married couples and tell the TRUTH about marriage. I imagine myself walking up to her like the blubbering, clueless idiot I am. I imagine my big, annoying smile plastered across my face while I talked about how easy and perfect things were for us.

To make matters worse, I still see this woman from time to time. And she is SO freaking likeable that I wish we were friends. She is holy and real and FUNNY. Sometimes we even have to worship together or have small group discussions together.

I’ve never apologized to her for how annoying and insensitive I was. Never. Have I wanted to? Yes! Sometimes when she’s talking (saying REALLY smart and funny and magnetic things) I just want to blurt out “Remember that time I was SO annoying and said marriage was a cake walk after you had just talked about how difficult it was for you? Well, I’m SO sorry. I speak WAY more than I should and, you were SOFREAKINGRIGHT. Marriage isn’t ever all-the-way easy. I know that first hand now.”

I don’t say that, though. I just sit there and let her think whatever it is she is going to think about me. Maybe she doesn’t even remember it OR maybe she does, I don’t know. What I do know is this crazy, annoying thing I told her will be the thing that helps me to grow in humility. I will make a conscious effort to keep my lips zipped. Why? Because it HURTS not to set the record straight. It’s a small suffering for me.

I want so badly for people to like me. This girl (who I want to be friends with) has always seemed slightly annoyed with me. Maybe it’s all in my head or maybe that conversation we had 3 years ago (her very first impression of me) is as burned into her memory as it is mine. I’ll never know because I won’t ever bring it up.

It hurts not to, and sometimes exercise hurts, especially “soul exercise.”

3 thoughts on “Why I Never Apologize After I Put My Foot in My Mouth”

  1. I’ve had opportunities to insert my foot in my mouth too and learned the hard way! Maybe I’m missing the point so I apologize if this is unrelated… Just my opinion: I don’t think God would want you to continue suffering for it. I think you’ve learned your lesson. A quick clarification on what happened and how youve felt bad ever since to her I believe will free you from this guilt. I get you want to be reminded but you will remember whether you say sorry or not. At least that has been my experience. Take care and God bless you!

    Like

    1. Thanks, Heather! Love that feedback! I feel it’s something that I’m called to in this particular situation. The only reason I would apologize to her is because I want her to like me and, for the moment, those intentions aren’t pure. So, I sit in the uncomfortable. Sometimes I do apologize, definitely! I don’t think this is THE way to handle it! Just THE way to handle THIS.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s