Miscellanous, Motherhood

Life With Two

I haven’t updated this in a while. My last entry was about Dane’s birth and now he’s a toddler who waddles around yelling. I haven’t updated partly because two kids rocked my world and partly because I have nothing witty to say. Y’all know I think pregnancy sucks. It’s hard. I feel ugly and fat. I could go on, but I have several blog posts dedicated to complaining about pregnancy which you can reference (if you feel the need to hear someone complain about the greatest gift women are given). Pregnancy was easy to write about and make funny. Life with kids. No. I distinctly remember a time when if ONE person in our family got a bath it was a good day.  My kids went days without taking a bath. Literally. Because I could not wrap my head around the mechanics of getting both kids (happily and safely) clean. Two kids was….. a transition. Elaina was a normal human being when we decided to introduce a non-normal human being into our family. She used the bathroom on her own. She used words. She slept when normal humans sleep. She ate normal human food. She drank out of normal human cups. It was a breeze. We were living the life. And then we threw a baby in the mix. 

I don’t know if most people have their world rocked when they introduce a new baby into their already-kid-infested home, but I did. Dane drank out of nothing that was not a breast. Nothing. For 11 months. Let that sink in. NOTHING. So, I had two options: stay inside my 1100 square foot house with two kids like a hermit or go out into the world and nurse in public. I know that someone out there is thinking that I must not have tried. I know you’re thinking YOU could have had him taking a bottle. Let’s pause here for a moment and discuss. Do you have one or less children? If so, I was you. I was SO you. I thought I knew everything. I was Judgy McJudgerpants. You probably know this from reading my blog. I truly thought I could solve all problems, and then I had a second child and McDonald’s became an acceptable meal. I offered Dane a bottle at 9 weeks to see how he would do. He took it. Then, around 4 months, my best friend decided to have a bachelorette party in New Orleans. I tried to give Dane a bottle before I left, and he took it fine. And then I left him with his dad for 24 hours and he went on a hunger strike. Literally. He did not drink a thing for the entire time I was gone. Now, think about this, the kid is 4 months old, and for an entire day refused to drink anything. So, the theory about “if he gets hungry enough, he’ll take a bottle” is completely thrown out the window. He didn’t drink out of anything. It was hard. 

Elaina had a rough time transitioning as well. She was never unkind or angry towards Dane. She loved him from the very beginning, but she hated me. Truly. For 2.5 years it was just she and I and she was accustomed to life where she was the center of my world, and then Dane was born. There was a while at the beginning that I cried to my mom or Marvin about how she hated me, and, at the same time, I didn’t want her to like me. It’s weird, and I’m not sure everyone experiences it, but the best way to explain having two kids (to me) is: You spend your entire pregnancy worried that you won’t love the new baby as much, worried that your older child will feel left out, trying –at every moment– to include the older child in things so they don’t feel excluded, and then your second child is born and you want to lock yourself and the baby in your room away from the older child and just rock and love and be away from irrational children who purposely yell and ruin naptimes. You want to scream when you’re nursing a baby to sleep and a toddler needs something to eat NOW! Anyway, it was a transition. It was hard. A baby and a toddler both needing my attention and love and needing, needing, needing. 

How is life with two now? E-A-S-Y. I know I’ve played the “Being a SAHM is such a hard job” song a time or two, but not anymore. Life with two kids is easy! Truly. I don’t write this to be all “my life is so easy, you must be doing it wrong if yours isn’t”, but more for those of who you who may be in the trenches of the two kid transition and you’re wondering if you can trade in your older child for a different model. I’ve been there, but it gets better. I’m going to go as far as saying two kids (in our house) is easier than one kid. The kids play. They laugh. They eat together. They watch movies together. They sleep at the same time. Elaina loves her little brother. She is always kind to him (me? that’s another story for another day). She helps me. If he’s sad she cheers him up. She teaches him things. He looks up to her. He follows her around like a little puppy. He lets her ride him like a horse. He thinks everything she does is amazing and funny. It’s a breeze. Truly. They spend the majority of their day playing with one another, and allow me to clean and cook and all that jazz.  

Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment. I decided that my life was moving so smoothly that I should teach 5th grade CCD classes, teach Spanish to preschoolers and get a career coaching job at a local high school. So, I’m going from 100% SAHM to a SAHMish who works and needs the help of her wonderful in laws for childcare. So, here’s to a new chapter. Here’s to a challenge. To an adjustment. I’ll keep you posted on how life is with two kids and three jobs. Should be interesting.

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